Of Blinking, Blushing, and Rum
by the Barn
Summary: Pirates of the Caribbean- A short, fluffy fic featuring lots of blinking, blushing, and rum, featuring Captain Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann! Chapter 2 uploaded!
1. Default Chapter

Authors' Notes: This is a collaborative effort between four authors, who would like to be known as the Barn, Indigo Pear, LeviDragon, and Sai-chan. We've all seen and fallen in love with the characters from the Pirates of the Caribbean, especially Cap'n Jack Sparrow (and his portrayer, Johnny Depp, of course). You may notice a change in writing style from sentence to sentence, but that is only because we are all different writers. This fic is for pure fun, and feedback will be appreciated. Unless you are a flamer, in which case we shall use you to start a bonfire on a deserted island with Cap'n Jack and NOT destroy the rum. ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~ Chapter 1 ~*~*~*~  
  
Jack Sparrow, *Captain* Jack Sparrow, was walking swishily along the docks with a fine bottle of warm rum in his left hand.   
  
The docks were lively this morning. The recent spell of rain plaguing the waters had ceased, and the sailors were eager to leave port for other lands. Jack was also eager for them to go... and come back... with more rum.  
  
He'd been thinking quite a lot about Will Turner lately, wondering if he'd ever decide to follow the pirate in him and live on the seas as his father had. He was almost certain that the call of the water would overwhelm young Turner one day, and he was determined to take Will aboard his own crew once he was ready.  
  
Of course, as he finished off the last of the bottle, Jack couldn't think too much more. He collapsed where he lay, right there on the docks, with the spray of the ocean and the heat of the sun as his bedfe.. er, dockfellows. Pity.  
  
A little man, pudgy from the advantages of high society, waddled down the wooden walkway to stand beside the fallen Captain. He grimaced, a look of distaste evident in his beady gaze, and nudged the snoring man with one booted toe.  
  
"You, sir. I say, are you Mr. Sparrow, sir?"  
  
Jack continued to snore peacefully. After a few more nudges and a good, sound kick in the side, Jack awoke and opened one eye to peer up at the intruder. "No, sir, I am not Mr. Sparrow. I am, in fact, *Captain* Jack Sparrow."  
  
The man sighed heavily and threw Jack a disgusted look. "I, personally, wouldn't care if you were an admiral or a cabin boy." The short man pulled a crisp letter out of the pouch tied to his belt and tossed it onto Jack's stomach. With a single, sophisticated cough, the man stiffened and turned his nose up at the captain. "You are cordially invited to a celebratory supper at the Governor's Manor, as an honored guest of Miss Elizabeth Swann." He paused and eyed Jack's attire before sniffing and shifting his gaze to more pleasent scenery.   
  
"You might wish to wear something more civilized, sir, if I *may* be so bold." Without waiting for a reply, the pudgy man turned on a heel and walked away.  
  
Jack sneered at the man's retreating back. "No, you may *not* be so bold. Savvy?" He paused before calling again, "Will there be rum?" Then he looked down at himself speculatively. Seeing nothing but the finest in eccentric pirate garb, he proceeded to read the invitation.  
  
He squinted at first, trying to make his eyes comprehend the loopy calligraphy sprawled across the paper. Bunching up the ol' lookers didn't seem to help much, so he tried a wide-eyed, half-turn-of-the-head approach. That didn't work either. "Hurrah for rum. Can't read a bloody thing when you're too pissed." He decided to call upon young Will and find out his information that way, as the boy was sure to know everything concerning his bonnie lass.  
  
A smirk spread across Jack's lips as the captain rolled languidly to his feet. He paused for a moment, allowing time for his surroundings to spin back into place. The man folded the letter into a haphazard square and tucked the parchment into his belt. With an old tavern song on the tip of his tongue, Jack sauntered down the wooden lane, the bottle of rum secure in his grip. The captain stopped suddenly, one booted foot poised just above a hole in the dock, and turned sharply before gazing around for a moment. He shrugged nonchalantly, taking a swig from the bottle, and swaggered down the path in the opposite direction.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
When Jack finally found his way to the smithy, it was nearly sundown. Before he could knock on the door, however, it opened. Two seconds later he found himself looking up at the darkening sky with a frantic-looking Will Turner on his chest.  
  
"What th-mmph!" Will yelled before his mouth was obstructed by Jack's shoulder.  
  
Jack blinked a bit and realized that instead of seeing the slighter man standing in front of him, he was, in fact, staring up at the evening sky. He was rather comfortable and was all ready to take another little nap when he realized that the warm lump covering his torso was, in fact, the object of his affec, er, attention... er, the smith he was looking for. "Hallo!" he said, rather cheerily for a man facing a hell of a hangover. That is if he ever stopped drinking long enough to regain momentary sobriety. Which was a long shot anyway.  
  
"Why is it that whenever I have something important to do, there's always an obstica-Jack!" The young man pushed himself away from the captain's body and kneeled next to him. He studied the man's slack, relaxed face and flushed cheeks, with an amused yet disapproving look. "You're drunk again, aren't you? Oh what am I saying? You're always drunk. Well, come on then. Up we go. You can't stay there all day." Will smiled, shaking his head, and extended a hand toward the older man.  
  
"Well, " said Jack, "Can I stay here all night then?"   
  
Will lgave him a look of exasperation. "No Jack, we've got tea with Governor Swann and Elizabeth--" He paused to look at his pocketwatch. "15 minutes ago! Now get up so we can go!"  
  
Fifteen minutes late or not, Jack simply wasn't in the mood to do anything other than saunter. He walked along, winking at any pretty wenches who looked his way. "Goin' to the guv'nor's house, y'know?" Will ignored the twinge he felt whenever Jack slowed near one of the many lasses who had *other* things to offer besides slaps. He shook himself, then turned to Jack.   
  
"Captain Sparrow," came the more-formal address, "you won't be 'goin' to the guv'nor's house' if we do not arrive post-haste!" Will felt rather pleased with himself when the captain quickened his pace and fell into step with the younger man. Finally, they arrived at the large white house. Will knocked on the door, and a pudgy little man answered. After a moment or two of staring at Captain Jack's rather queeny composure, he remembered his station.  
  
"Yes, sir, how may I help you?" This was addressed to Will, who was in a lesser state of dishabille.  
  
Will pursed his lips. "We were invited to tea, sir. It was a special request made by Miss Swa-" "I'm extremely disappointed, Mr. Turner. You would think that after our adventures, you could muster the courage needed to call me by my given name?" A young, fashionable woman with long curling chestnut hair walked daintily toward the entrance to the mansion. "You may return to your duties, Harold." The short man bowed once. "Yes Ma'am." He shot a disdainful look at Jack, before turning and walking away. Will blinked, a flush creeping past the collar of his shirt.  
  
"E-Elizabeth. You look stunning." The woman scoffed, absently tossing her long hair over one shoulder. "You do say that everyday, Will." She smiled and turned to Jack. "Jack, it's wonderful to see you again," she said to the slightly swaying pirate.   
  
"Elizabeth, luv!" said Jack pleasantly to his hostess. "Fancy meeting you here!"  
  
"...I live here. Jack, are you drunk?" Elizabeth asked, eyeing his slightly blank gaze.  
  
"Drunk? Never! Slightly intoxicated? Always!" came the cheerful reply.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The three entered the parlour where Elizabeth had tea and cucumber sandwiches waiting. Elizabeth pretended not to notice when Jack took out a flask hidden in his shirt and dumped the contents into her father's fine china. Instead, she flashed her guests a dazzling smile and asked whether they'd received their invitations to her father's dinner yet.   
  
Will thought for a moment before nodding. He stood near the entrance to the parlour, feeling a bit self-concious in his frayed trousers and faded tunic. "Yes, Elizabeth. I received mine this morning." He cleared his throat, attempting to relieve himself of the nervous feeling in his chest. He threw a side-long glance at Jack, watching silently as the man fingered a piece of parchment at his belt. The young blacksmith's eyebrows furrowed deeply as his eyes unconciously traveled the length of the older man's fingers. He reminded himself sternly, that his attention should never wander in the presence of the lady who had stolen his heart.  
  
"Er, won't you both please come and sit down?" asked Elizabeth, indicating a very expensive sofa and a few overstuffed chairs.  
  
"Yes, Elizabeth, thank you," replied Will as he sat down at one end of the sofa, Elizabeth settling down a few spaces away from him. "Ah yes, don't mind if I do, actually!" said Jack as he proceeded to squeeze himself between an embarrassed-looking Elizabeth and a flustered Will.   
  
Jack had lived over half his life in a 'slightly intoxicated' state and was thus perfectly aware of what he was doing. So he proceeded to slip his arms behind his favorite couple. With the textures of Elizabeth's silk in his right hand and the course, rough material of Will's tunic in his left, and with a little rum-punched tea, Jack was having a merry old time. Especially when he realized just *how* uncomfortable he was making everybody.  
  
Elizabeth, quite used to such contact from similar masters of seduction, blushed politely and pushed his hand firmly away and tried to continue on. "I have been pondering our past adventures-" Will, on the other hand, was not acquainted with the flirtings of the sex that thought with their little head. As one of them, he rarely had such attentions lavished on him, and became very, very nervous. He felt soft chills under the spot on the garment that Jack stroked. His breath hitched. And jumped up swiftly, twitching to relieve himself of the wanton feeling. Of course, he'd heard nothing of Elizabeth's ongoing speech.  
  
"Will, dear. Are you alright? You seem terribly flushed." Elizabeth's concerned voice pierced Will's daze. He shivered slightly and turned to face Elizabeth. He smiled apologetically and cleared his throat. "No. No. I'm quite alright, Elizabeth. I...just felt like standing, actually." His mind felt dizzy; detached from reality. The young woman frowned as she sat, perched on the plush couch.   
  
"Well, then what is your opinion on the matter? Jack is quite taken with the idea." Will blinked as a nervous blush once again graced his smooth features. His gaze slid over to focus on Jack. The pirate captain grinned roguishly, causing the blush on Will's tanned cheeks to deepen.   
  
"What'll it be then, Lad?" Will swore he saw the pirate wink.   
  
"I...I'm sorry. I don't believe I understand."  
  
Elizabeth tisked faintly at Will's lack of attention. "We were just discussing how much fun it would be if you and I were to borrow a ship and help Jack find the Black Pearl," she informed him. "It seems there was somewhat of a misunderstanding on the ship..." At this she gave Jack a reproachful look. "...and they threw him overboard. Jack was able to swim to the dock, of course, but the ship is long gone. I think it's a marvelous idea! It'll be another adventure for the three of us. We'll be at sea again!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
End of Chapter 1: More to come! 


	2. Deux

Authors' Notes (Part Deux): We've decided to include each author's individual comments addressing the story thus far and some of the more interesting reviews. ^_^  
  
*from LeviDragon:* Thank you to all for your encouragement. Although I am a huge fan of slash, we aren't leaning too heavily on it. I hope this fic can still appeal to those who don't like the idea of a Jack/Will pairing. To those who do, I hope the implications are enough to hold you until Sai-chan and I finish the "Alternative Bed Scene" (which corresponds to this chapter). Sounds interesting? Oh just you wait!  
  
*from Indigo Pear:* I would like to say that the "Drunk? Never! Slightly Intoxicated? ALways!" is all the creation of Miss Barn. Clever the wench is. Whackjob wombat~ you need only marry the Barn, with whom the wittiness truly lies...and have Sai-chan as your mistress.  
  
*from Sai-chan:* Isis!!! I 3 all of your work and feel honored that you review our fic! ^__^ Gabriel Crow~ Bonfires are so fun and of course we'll read your fanfic ^^ Wombat~Yes, you should marry the Barn but I want to be your mistress!   
  
*from the Barn:* First of all, I'd like to say that I'm overwhelmed by the response to the "slightly intoxicated" line. It's been amazing. Wicked Lady- you *may* be so bold, and hopefully you won't be disappointed. I really think that we'll cover all bases and pairings, possibly including Jack/Rum, Jack/Hat, etc... Okay, maybe not, but this fic is sure to be a fun ride. God bless the rum! MonkFan- permission granted. And don't die just yet. Rayemars- "Dishabille" is an absolute must in one's vocabulary! ^_^ WhackJobWombat- Sorry, S&M bondage isn't really my thing, but my three co-authors seem to like it. But marriage proposals are grand things, eh?  
  
*from All of Us:* Thanks to every single reviewer for your kind words and encouragement. This has been fun to make, and hopefully we'll be keeping you laughing. Enjoy Of Blinking, Blushing, and Rum: Part Deux!  
  
~*~*~*~ Chapter 2 ~*~*~*~  
  
Jack jumped up and clapped Will on the back. "C'mon mate, what do ya say? Can't you feel the call of the sea, the pull of the salty water in your very soul? Besides, I need to get my ship back before Anamaria fills it with more holes. Don't need to come into harbor atop the mast of another boat, do I?"  
  
Will indeed felt a pull, but it was not as Jack had said. The captain's rowdy slap had illicited a strong reaction further south if one knew his geography. The young blacksmith gulped and forced himself to fill his mind with thoughts that would throw him off the path his thoughts were currently following. Images of the governor flashed through his mind, cooling his veins and making him cringe slightly. Following the old man were mental pictures of dusty scrolls and maps...treasure maps... Will blinked and looked up at Jack with a new light in his eyes. He did feel the pull. The correct pull this time, and he agreed that he was indeed restless. He wanted adventure.   
  
The man grinned confidently and tilted his head to one side. "No we certainly would not want that, would we? Alright. I'll go." He paused, suddenly remembering the presence of his lady. "I...Besides!" He amended. "I would not wish for Elizabeth to run off, gallivanting around the world with you alone!"  
  
"It's settled then!" declared Elizabeth. "I'll have a boat ready and waiting for us in two days. That gives us time to pack and make adequate preparations, I think."  
  
"Preparations?" inquired Jack. "Who needs 'em? I say we leave now!" And with that, he moved toward the door, hips swaying enticingly.  
  
"Hold on a moment, Jack!" laughed Elizabeth. "Where will you be sleeping tonight? I really don't think I can allow you to spend another night on the dock!"  
  
"Oh no, luv, don't go to any bother. I'm sure Will here won't mind if I sleep with him tonight, will you Will?"   
  
"What?" squeaked Will, not daring to believe his ears.  
  
"I asked if you'd mind if I bunked at your place tonight!" Jack repeated a bit louder.   
  
"Oh... sleep, bed... right. Of course, that won't be a problem."  
  
And so the two of them bade Elizabeth goodnight and set off for Will's small but relatively comfortable home.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
When they arrived there, Jack looked around appreciatively. "Nice hovel you've got here," he commented.   
  
"Er...thank you, Jack," replied Will uncertainly.  
  
Indeed, it was extremely small. In fact, there were only two rooms - a kitchen and a bedroom. While the kitchen was furnished with a stove, a table and chairs, and several pieces of blacksmith's equipment, the bedroom had only a plain bed, a small dresser, and an old sofa.  
  
By this time, Jack was staggering so much that Will was practically holding him up. "You can have the bed, and I'll sleep on the sofa, if you'd like," offered Will, helping Jack over to the bed.  
  
"This bed?" asked Jack, blinking at it.   
  
"Yes. That bed," replied Will. "Oh good." Without another word, Jack fell into the bed, asleep before his head hit the pillow.   
  
Actually, his head never hit the pillow at all. Instead, it settled for smashing down on Will's chest as Will was, most unfortunately, pinned directly underneath the sleeping pirate.  
  
"...or we could just share the bed...."  
  
Ten minutes later, however, it dawned on Will that he wasn't exactly comfortable. 170 pounds of deadweight lying on top of one's body tends to cut off circulation. He prodded Jack's shoulder, which only made the pirate mutter... piratey things under his rum-riddled breath. After a few more minutes, Will finally decided just to shove the good captain over onto the woolen pillow. It went surprisingly well for the slighter man, and he had just moved to get off the bed when he felt something clamp firmly onto his wrist.  
  
Will looked back and saw Jack gazing blearily at him. "Where's the rum, mate? It's not gone, is it?" A half-look of horror crossed the sleepy captain's tanned face at that possibility.  
  
"No, Jack, it's just in the other room. I'll leave some for you here," Will motioned toward the dresser.  
  
"Bless you, lad, bless you." With that, Captain Jack Sparrow slept straight on 'til after noon.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The next evening, as Jack was just waking, Will was getting in early from the blacksmith's. Jack looked around him, momentarily unsure of where he was. He mumbled a few unintelligible things and turned wide half-conscious eyes towards Will.  
  
"Jack, you must get up and make yourself presentable for Elizabeth and her father this evening." Will said as he proceeded to undress himself.   
  
A look of comprehension finally appeared on the good captain's face. He stumbled out of the bed and grabbed for the liquor on the dresser top, took a big swig and declared with renewed energy, "Alright, lad, let's be off."   
  
Will had to grab the pirate before he got all the way out the door. "Wait a moment. I need to wash up."   
  
Jack raised one eyebrow, stood in contemplation, walked over to the bed and plopped down ready to watch. Will filled a basin with water and proceeded to scrub his hands and face. Jack's curious expression drooped and he took another large gulp of rum. "I really think you should clean up a bit, Jack. You're really starting to smell vulgar."  
  
Jack chuckled as he rocked back languidly on the bed, before leaning forward and resting one elbow on his knee. He took an experimental sniff at his clothes and chuckled again. "Oh no, young William. 'Tis the sea you smell. The sea and adventure! Ne'er a sweeter smell there was!"   
  
Will scoffed, not believing the pirate's drunken babble for a minute. He eyed the basin he had just used as a grin spread across his lips. "Whatever it is, it just will not do."   
  
Jack snorted at that. Wouldn't do? Whatever Captain Jack Sparrow said would most certainly "do!" He narrowed his 'slightly intoxicated' gaze at Will's back.  
  
"What do ya mean, boy? I don't wash until *I* feel it, savvy?"   
  
Will's grin widened, if possible, as he lifted the heavy bowl in his calloused hands and turned to look at Jack.   
  
"Really. Well, alright then. I understand."   
  
The pirate's eyes shifted from the basin to the boy's face as his expression darkened with mild suspicion. "Right. Good then, that we understand each other. But why are ya holdin' that bloody bo-"  
  
His question was cut off, however, because at the moment, Will lifted the bowl higher, turned it over and dumped its contents onto Jack's head. The pirate jumped up, furious at the boy's actions and started toward him, swaying slightly. Will backed up, dropping the basin and grabbing a clean shirt from the dresser.   
  
"Oh come off it, Jack. You have all day to dry. At least now, you don't smell like a dog." With a jovial laugh, Will turned and strode out of the bedroom, pulling on his shirt as he did so. The soaking pirate followed him into the other room.  
  
"A dog! Of all the-- Mate, if we were on Tortuga, I'd ring your bloody neck for that!"  
  
"Not if I bought you a drink first!" came the reply.  
  
Jack was rather inclined to acquiesce to the validity of that statement; he grinned and deftly caught his tricorner hat as Will tossed it his way.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Once again, Captain Jack Sparrow took his time meandering in the general direction of the governor's mansion.   
  
"Er...what exactly are we doing here, Will?" Jack inquired.   
  
"Celebrating the fact that Elizabeth's father is dedicating the new ship to her," Will reminded him.   
  
"Oh. Why are we wasting time celebrating? We could do that by being *on* the boat, eh?"   
  
"Because, Jack, this is high society, and we have to have the celebratory dinner before we can do anything else," explained Will.  
  
"High society, eh? Never liked it, myself. In fact, I do my best to stay away from it. But if this'll get us onto the ship, then let's get it over with quick, savvy?"  
  
"Alright, Jack, whatever you say," Will grinned and knocked on the door. When answered, the pudgy doorman from the day before once again confronted the young blacksmith and his wayward pirate friend.  
  
"Harry!" Jack cried. "It is Harry, right? Good to see you, old man! Why look so glum? There's nothing a good bottla' rum won' fix, eh?" With that, Captain Jack Sparrow, pirate extraordinaire, threw an arm around Harold the doorman and went in search of the liquor cabinet.   
  
Will, meanwhile, stood tentatively on the doorstep before letting himself in. He headed toward the parlour and was relieved to find Elizabeth sitting inside.  
  
"Will Turner!" she exclaimed, jumping up to embrace him. "I'd almost thought you'd abandoned me... (and our plans)." This last part was said sotto voce. Will looked a bit perplexed before realizing that they were not alone in the room. Commodore Norrington was standing near the window, surveying the seaside.  
  
Will clasped Elizabeth's hands in his and met her eyes. "No, Elizabeth, I would never abandon you," he whispered softly. Then, in a regular voice, he said, "Sorry to be late. The captain *never* rushes, unless there's rum at stake."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The dinner passed with almost no incident. Jack had had a bit of a row with the Commodore, who felt that the pardon given Jack by the governor was not the best decision. One couldn't blame him for this conclusion; when Jack began approaching the stage that one might dare to call "drunk," he started telling vividly of his past, making wild motions in the air to emphasize his statements. It didn't help every other slurred comment coming from his mouth was derogatory to first the English Navy, then the commodore's fleet, and then the man himself.   
  
Other than that, the supper's events were fairly dull.   
  
Will and Elizabeth tore Jack away from the seething Commodore and into the street. "I could have taken the bloody bastard in a duel any day! I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!" the Captain cried, swinging purposefully to put more weight on the beautiful Elizabeth. She stumbled and let go.  
  
"Elizabeth, I've got him from here. You go on home."  
  
She huffed hands on her hips, "You've no right to tell me what to do, William Turner. I can handle that drunken knave! We have been through the same adventures..." She continued on in this stream until Will pacified her enough to coax her back in the house.  
  
"GOodnight, my love." he whispered when she was gone. Will pulled Jack harshly forward before he could suggest anything crude about his sweetheart.  
  
The way home was much more interesting than the party itself. The captain felt the 'urge a man can't deny himself' at every street corner. Particularly with that one wench with enormous amounts of cleavage.  
  
Fortunately Will finally got the rum-punched pirate back to 'the hovel.' This time the captain didn't make it all the way to the bed. His swaggering hips gave out just inside the door. And Will, feeling the need for his own bed, shrugged his shoulders and left the unconscious Sparrow snoring on the ground. 


	3. Trois

Author's Note (from the Barn)  
  
Hello to all the kind reviewers who left word and encouraged this story along. I am sorry for the delay in writing, but I promise that there are some very good reasons (not the least among them being that all four original writers of this story are seniors in high school, worrying about college applications). Sadly, we were not able to find the time to collaborate on this fun story after the beginning of the new school term, which has thus resulted in a 5-month hiatus.  
  
However, I (the Barn) am in the process of putting together another creative session between all of the original writers, so that we can continue Of Blinking, Blushing, and Rum and give you readers the Captain Jack Sparrow we all know and love (to have fun with).  
  
Anyway, as a sort of peace offering, here is a snippet from Chapter 3:  
  
The next morning, Will rolled over in bed and smelled something that wasn't altogether unpleasant. He lazily opened one eye and saw an unstoppered flask next to his pillow.  
  
The one eye blinked, then blinked again.  
  
Will's hand moved to pick up the flask and investigate, but it found itself stopped by the slap of a sword. "Ouch!" Will looked up to see Jack grinning madly.  
  
"I haven't had a proper duel in a long time, mate. How's about one now?"  
  
Will rolled his eyes. "You've never had a proper duel. Remember? I'd beat you in a fair fight, pirate."  
  
The broad side of Jack's sword thwapped Will's leg. "Where's your sense of play, son? There's no fun in a proper duel. You've got to be quick on your feet, fast as a storm over the sea, ready for anything, savvy?"  
  
Will listened to Jack's words passively, then remembered that first swordplay so long ago. He recalled how his blood was drumming through his veins, honestly fearing for his life, but he was determined to bring down the scoundrel that threatened Elizabeth. That experience validated all those hours of practice, regardless of Jack's teasing. He was a master swordsman, and the adventure that followed that first time surely put that to the test.  
  
"Alright Jack, let's have it." 


End file.
